I am not good at drawing, but I doodled a picture of how I feel. It is me with my hands on my ears with thoughts racing a million miles a minute. Yelling Stop in my head. But, to the world around me, I seem fine.
You have seen the articles. How to talk to a schizophrenic or how to deal with someone with borderline personality disorder as examples. I am not saying they do not have useful observations. After all, these are published by practitioners with much experience. Having contracts in a therapy relationship and firm boundaries is normal. Controlling … Continue reading How to Talk to a Person: my response to how to talk to people with X disorder
I just finished watching a movie on Netflix called Brain on Fire. I am going to post spoilers so if you have not watched it, go, get the book if you can't get the movie. Don't forget to come back. I have trouble watching shows. If they don't hold my attention, I do something else. … Continue reading Brain on Fire : a review
weight gain and psych meds seem to go hand in hand. I gained 25 lbs when I started depakote. I did an Atkins diet and lost the weight but I did not find that sustainable for me. Zyprexa, I gained 5 lbs typing the name, works really well at controlling mania for me, but … Continue reading Weight: you gain some, you lose some
i went to a conference today. There were 32 workshops.. the first i went to was on Borderline Personality Disorder. It was very informative and i learned a lot. The next was on support groups, that was good. There were a number of organizations represented. the last one i went to was "ask the doctors" … Continue reading Mental Health Conference
I was removed from the bone marrow registry when I updated my health information. They sent me an email saying they have volunteers and it was a safety issue. I didn’t think about it until someone mentioned they were turned down to donate blood because they have schizophrenia. It is not the medications we take … Continue reading You May Not Be a Match
I won’t pretend to know what Nietzsche meant by “the abyss gazes into you”. The quote came to mind as I feel like I am at the edge of an abyss, gazing into the void. I feel empty. I am ashamed of who I am. If people knew who I really am they would turn … Continue reading The Abyss
I feel like a sham i tell people coping skills, but I have trouble doing them myself. My therapist told me to try mindfulness. I know what it is. I recommend it. But, my mind spins so much, i can't be "mindful" i have trouble breathing, cbt is out the window, i can't seem … Continue reading Hypocrite much?
I have not been feeling well. Depressed and anxious, a little paranoid. I decided to go to a support group. I was hoping I would feel better, sometimes I feel worse afterwards. Lately, I have been getting agitated and frustrated during support group meetings. I am not sure why. I wasn't sure if i should … Continue reading Sometimes 80% understanding is enough
I don't know if anyone else is like this, but I have trouble knowing how I feel. I knew I was miserable and anxious, but until my therapist said I was depressed I did not notice. Someone was trying to help me and asked what I get up for and my immediate response was "obligations". … Continue reading Depression sucks