Dysfunction Junction

My father had an undiagnosed mental illness, probably bipolar, but I did not know that at the time. He was just a moody, raging, jerk. People knew but no one wants to interfere. I remember we had an uncle who was physically abusive to his kids, maybe his wife, I don’t know. Everyone knew about…

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Inner Demons

I have shame about past behavior. I am not ready to disclose to anyone. I have a therapist but am not able to tell. I won’t repeat or get in that situation again. I don’t know if any or all is related to mental illness. Probably some I lied, sometimes for no reason. I did…

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T is for tagline

What would an Orange County housewife be without a tagline. I am a Bravo TV fan and watch the housewife shows. I am having trouble coming up with anything original. There are a few quotes I like. “Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” Camus or “Of all the things…

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Schizoaffective Disorder

I was not sure what to choose for an “S” word, but this disorder affects my whole life. Also, most people have never heard of it. Schizoaffective is basically a combination of a thought disorder, like schizophrenia and a mood disorder, like bipolar. There is controversy about the diagnosis. It can resemble bipolar with psychotic…

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Money, money, money

Continuing the alphabet game with the letter M. I worry about Money. I imagine that is common. When I was psychotic I would spend and donate to causes because voices told me I should. It could have been worse, but I was isolating so I did not have a lot of spending opportunities. I remember…

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So many good “L” words

Laughter, life, listen. I am choosing Love I love my family. If it is possible, I may tell them too often that I love them. My husband is wonderful. He did not sign up to be married to a woman with a mental illness. I was diagnosed 7 years into our marriage. He has stuck…

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I don’t have a career

I have a Job. I work as a peer mentor in a mental health facility. About the only place you can work where having experienced mental illness is desirable. But, there is no room for advancement. And, there is no certification or required qualifications in my state and the pay is not great. I like…

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I don’t know how to do therapy

I am seeing a new therapist. I picked her because she has experience treating patients who have experienced trauma. At my first appointment, I told her at the very end of the session that I want to delve into the past because it affects me still. It took me the whole time to get up…

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I value my Family

Continuing the alphabet game with the letter F. I have issues with my family of origin, but my little family (husband and 2 children + our dog) is very important to me. Thankfully, we are all doing well. I worried about how having a mental illness would affect my children, but they are grown now…

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