Tag Archives: schizophrenia

Neurotransmitters

alphabet game, neurotransmitters, Uncategorized, , , , , , , , , ,

I don’t understand them well, but neurotransmitters rule my life. Too much dopamine and I get psychotic. Too little serotonin and I am depressed. Along with others like glutamate it is a delicate balance

I take medications and supplements to help restore the balance. They seem to be working. If only they did not come with side effects. My mouth is constantly dry to the point it is hard to talk. I usually carry a bottle of water everywhere. I am chronically fatigued which I believe is due in part to my medications. It is definitely worth those side effects to be functional

Chemical imbalance is one theory for mental illness. In my case it makes sense to me.

A Doodle of How I Feel

bipolar, life lessons, Recovery, schizoaffective, schizophrenia, Uncategorized, , , , ,

I am not good at drawing, but I doodled a picture of how I feel.  It is me with my hands on my ears with thoughts racing a million miles a minute. Yelling Stop in my head.

face2

But, to the world around me, I seem fine.

How to Talk to a Person: my response to how to talk to people with X disorder

DBT, life lessons, mental illness, psychosis, Recovery, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized, , ,

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You have seen the articles. How to talk to a schizophrenic or how to deal with someone with borderline personality disorder as examples.

I am not saying they do not have useful observations. After all, these are published by practitioners with much experience. Having contracts in a therapy relationship and firm boundaries is normal. Controlling your partner is not.

I just read such an article by Nancy Carbone, a couples therapist in Australia. It is a year old and I don’t mean to point a finger at her, it is just an example. I don’t happen to have a BPD diagnosis. I do not like articles on how to deal with other types of people, clumping us all together.

The first thing you should do, if you want to communicate with people is learn active listening and other communication skills. Maybe, if you pay attention to what you may consider nonsense, you will see there is more there.

If the articles on schizophrenia were about actually trying to communicate, like writing the key points down if the person is distracted by voices, I would not dislike these articles so much. That is not what these are about, though. It is “tough love” or I know what is better for you. It is about dealing with someone who is flawed and somehow that makes you superior.

I welcome comments. Sometimes I have knee jerk reactions and if I am off-base I want to know.

Brain on Fire : a review

Autoimmune, Brain, Encephalitis, mental illness, schizophrenia, Uncategorized, ,

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I just finished watching a movie on Netflix called Brain on Fire. I am going to post spoilers so if you have not watched it, go, get the book if you can’t get the movie. Don’t forget to come back.

I have trouble watching shows. If they don’t hold my attention, I do something else. This was one I watched all the way through.

It is a true story of a young woman who gets ill and no one knows the cause. All the tests are normal. The Drs suggest that she is working and partying too hard. Later they come up with bipolar and schizophrenia. She has seizures, acts manic, gets catatonic. It is a mystery.

A specialist is brought in. He has her draw a clock and she only daws numbers on one side. Then he knows there is something wrong with one side of her brain. They do a biopsy of her brain, which they made it look like a simple procedure.

The results come back and she is diagnosed finally. It is an autoimmune encephalitis. And, there is treatment. She had to relearn how to walk and talk, like she had a stroke. At the end Susannah ponders how many people have been mis diagnosed with a mental illness.

Then, right after I finished the movie, my friend posted an article from bp magazine about autoimmune encephalitis.

Bphope.com

Mental Health Conference

Coping skills, DBT, mental illness, psychosis, Recovery, relapse, schizoaffective, schizophrenia, support groups, Uncategorized, , ,

i went to a conference today. There were 32 workshops..

the first i went to was on Borderline Personality Disorder. It was very informative and i learned a lot.  The next was on support groups, that was good. There were a number of organizations represented.

the last one i went to was “ask the doctors” on schizophrenia. It was an open forum for people to comment, and ask questions. There were suggested questions on the screen.

one of the questions was, “what has worked for you?”  I would have loved to hear the answers to that one.

one thing that worked for me, was talking to people with similar experiences, either on-line or in person. I went to dbsa support groups, nami connections and eventually started a group affiliated with the national organization, schizophrenia alliance. I don’t run the group anymore, but i am glad it is still going.

another thing, that is a little different, was when i was very troubled with auditory hallucinations, my psychiatrist found a way to communicate. He wrote words while he spoke, circling and crossing out important words.

no, one had asked what my experience was like when i had a psychotic break. They asked about symptoms, but not what were the voices saying or what the messages were. Not until i saw a therapist who seemed interested. It felt lke a relief to be able to tell my story.

i would love if anyone would share what has helped them

 

 

You May Not Be a Match

Donation, Marrow, mental illness, psychosis, schizoaffective, schizophrenia, stigma, Uncategorized, , , , ,

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I was removed from the bone marrow registry when I updated my health information. They sent me an email saying they have volunteers and it was a safety issue. I didn’t think about it until someone mentioned they were turned down to donate blood because they have schizophrenia. It is not the medications we take that are the problem. They fear we are a danger.

I was not really looking forward to donating, but with waiting lists it seems like they would not want to turn people away.

Give the gift of #stigma

I can understand that I can’t purchase life insurance. My diagnosis is associated with committing suicide. I am not unreasonable. But, assuming I am dangerous without asking any questions besides my diagnosis is infuriating

 

Someone Has A Sense of Humor

12 step, AA, alcoholism, CBT, Recovery, schizophrenia, SMART, Uncategorized, , , , ,

I have attended a few Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings. They are supposed to be more of a spiritual, than a religious program. I never felt like I belonged at the few meetings I went to. It also felt more religious than I am comfortable with, from the higher power, to the Serenity Prayer.

I looked around for alternatives and found SMART recovery which is cognitive behavioral therapy oriented. Many people do both AA and SMART together, but for me it is a good secular alternative. I have been attending meetings in-person and on-line since September. I have found a meeting where I feel I belong. I have learned a number of tools already and there are still more.

I work as a peer mentor and am excited about this program and have approval to bring it to my work 😀

I have a different group that is at a bad time, when the center is slow, that almost no one comes to. I was told to find something new. I found an organization called schizophrenia alliance and asked for materials. When they arrived, I found they were formally Schizophrenia Anonymous and it is a 6 step program, based on the 12 steps of (AA). It looks like something our members will enjoy snd I will run it.

I feel awkward. Why me of all people? I know about schizophrenia, and recovery, but not about this program.

My co-worker is going to help me prepare and I have all the material.

Who knows, maybe I will learn to appreciate step programs more.

Don’t Use Me As A Pawn

gun control, mental illness, politics, schizoaffective, schizophrenia, stigma, , , ,

Originally posted on Medium

Note: I know this is a controversial post. I am open to discussion. I am not against any of these laws, I just don’t like being presented as a problem.

Continue reading Don’t Use Me As A Pawn →

Supplements for Mental Illness

bipolar, mental illness, NAC, sarcosine, schizophrenia, supplements, Uncategorized, , , ,

Originally posted on Psych Central

Follow My Blog: Triple Winner

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/triple-winner/2017/03/supplements-for-mental-illness/

 

Edit: It appears some people are reading this as supplements instead of medication, my intention was supplements along with any medication and after consulting your doctor.

Supplements

Helpful for my mental illness or am I just making expensive pee?

A few disclaimers:

Supplements can interfere with your health and other medications. You should run it by your doctor before you start taking them.

Buyer beware. I trust the companies I purchase from, but I have heard of people getting products that were different from what they ordered.

And, as far as results, YMMV

Continue reading Supplements for Mental Illness →

Breathe

life lessons, mental illness, schizoaffective, schizophrenia, Uncategorized, , , ,

sunset2

Not long ago, I volunteered at a state conference for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. I was able to see a few speakers throughout the event.

One lecture I went to was on schizophrenia. I was very interested since I have a thought disorder (schizoaffective disorder). The psychiatrist speaking was a good speaker, intelligent and down to earth. He spoke about getting through the illness and to the person.

There was time for questions. Hands were raised and you could also fill out questions on paper. I filled out the paper and waited, but he never read mine. The audience was mostly clinicians and family but there were a few others with the diagnosis, like me.

Afterwards, there was time to talk with the speaker. i waited for my turn. Finally, I got to ask him my question. He said he had not read it because there really is no answer. I asked about remission. I have been stable for years. I have pretty much not had psychotic symptoms for 10 years (I am on medication). But, still I wait for the other shoe to drop. When is it going to happen again?

My question was “When can I take a breath and not worry about relapse?” His answer was simple. “Breathe Everyday”. You aren’t having symptoms now. Enjoy the moment.

Originally published in “Invisible Illness”

View at Medium.com