Unconditional

Growing up, it seemed like most things came with strings attached. I was acceptable as long as I behaved well. If you borrowed money, you were indebted forever and constantly reminded. It was not until I got married that I felt unconditional love. My husband did not react unkindly if I made a mistake. It…

Read More

T is for tagline

What would an Orange County housewife be without a tagline. I am a Bravo TV fan and watch the housewife shows. I am having trouble coming up with anything original. There are a few quotes I like. “Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” Camus or “Of all the things…

Read More

Schizoaffective Disorder

I was not sure what to choose for an “S” word, but this disorder affects my whole life. Also, most people have never heard of it. Schizoaffective is basically a combination of a thought disorder, like schizophrenia and a mood disorder, like bipolar. There is controversy about the diagnosis. It can resemble bipolar with psychotic…

Read More

Reliable

It sounds boring and predictable, but I am reliable. If I make a commitment, I stick to it. This has not always been the case. I used to get anxious and back out of things. I was seen as flakey. I don’t like surprises. I am not spontaneous. “spontaneity has it’s time and place” –…

Read More

Quiet

I like places that are peaceful and quiet. I would rather be alone than at a party. When I was younger, I would barely speak. They called me shy. I have social anxiety. Now, I can speak in front of groups, although I still shake, but it took a lot of work. I am typically…

Read More

Politics

I rarely make posts about politics. I don’t want to upset people or get in debates. But, the corruption in government is getting more blatant. Donald Trump as president is a product of election interference. We have voting machines that can change results, foreign governments interfering, voter suppression by things like requiring an id, which…

Read More

O is for Optometry

Not my most favorite O word, but I want to keep this blog user friendly I don’t know where I would be without optometry. I would probably be squinting, walking into things, guessing what signs say. I used to have good vision, then, I hit 40. First, I just needed glasses for reading, but now…

Read More

Neurotransmitters

I don’t understand them well, but neurotransmitters rule my life. Too much dopamine and I get psychotic. Too little serotonin and I am depressed. Along with others like glutamate it is a delicate balance I take medications and supplements to help restore the balance. They seem to be working. If only they did not come…

Read More

Money, money, money

Continuing the alphabet game with the letter M. I worry about Money. I imagine that is common. When I was psychotic I would spend and donate to causes because voices told me I should. It could have been worse, but I was isolating so I did not have a lot of spending opportunities. I remember…

Read More

So many good “L” words

Laughter, life, listen. I am choosing Love I love my family. If it is possible, I may tell them too often that I love them. My husband is wonderful. He did not sign up to be married to a woman with a mental illness. I was diagnosed 7 years into our marriage. He has stuck…

Read More