I have disclosed a lot. Nothing left to hide. A lot of people knew I had a mental health diagnosis. The alcohol was not really a secret but I never used the word ‘alcoholic’.
I thought I might feel free, not having secrets, but right now I feel uneasy. I hope I did the right thing. I can’t take it back.
I have attended a few Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings. They are supposed to be more of a spiritual, than a religious program. I never felt like I belonged at the few meetings I went to. It also felt more religious than I am comfortable with, from the higher power, to the Serenity Prayer.
I looked around for alternatives and found SMART recovery which is cognitive behavioral therapy oriented. Many people do both AA and SMART together, but for me it is a good secular alternative. I have been attending meetings in-person and on-line since September. I have found a meeting where I feel I belong. I have learned a number of tools already and there are still more.
I work as a peer mentor and am excited about this program and have approval to bring it to my work đ
I have a different group that is at a bad time, when the center is slow, that almost no one comes to. I was told to find something new. I found an organization called schizophrenia alliance and asked for materials. When they arrived, I found they were formally Schizophrenia Anonymous and it is a 6 step program, based on the 12 steps of (AA). It looks like something our members will enjoy snd I will run it.
I feel awkward. Why me of all people? I know about schizophrenia, and recovery, but not about this program.
My co-worker is going to help me prepare and I have all the material.
Who knows, maybe I will learn to appreciate step programs more.
sometimes people don’t know what to say when they find I have a mental illness. I found a list from the DBSA http://www.dbsalliance.org and made a short video of things thst could be hurtful and alternatives.
I am blogging for Psych Central. I have published 2 posts so far.
Shameless plug:
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/triple-winner/
It is about schizoaffective disorder and alcoholism.
I am supposed to write about 2 posts/week.
Did I mention I am really insecure and worry a lot and am a bundle of nerves????
I am so afraid I am going to run out of topics.
Or crash and burn in some humiliating fashion.
I already have 2 ideas for next week.
It is just the “what if?
I am going to try to stay in the present.
Originally posted on Psych Central
Follow My Blog: Triple Winner
https://blogs.psychcentral.com/triple-winner/2017/03/supplements-for-mental-illness/
Edit: It appears some people are reading this as supplements instead of medication, my intention was supplements along with any medication and after consulting your doctor.
Supplements
Helpful for my mental illness or am I just making expensive pee?
A few disclaimers:
Supplements can interfere with your health and other medications. You should run it by your doctor before you start taking them.
Buyer beware. I trust the companies I purchase from, but I have heard of people getting products that were different from what they ordered.
And, as far as results, YMMV
I Â don’t know if I do this. It is easier to recognize in others. Every bad day is depression, any agitation is mania. They tell you every morning how many hours they slept the night before.
A friend was telling me much of what people think are mood swings have to do with distress tolerance and has more to do with therapy than medication. Specifically DIaletical Behavioral Therapy(DBT).
I don’t know if that is correct. I don’t think everyone that rapid cycles really has a personality disorder. That was what he seemed to be eluding to. But, if you can’t get mood swings under control and you can get into a DBT program that could be an option.
I want to be well and in recovery. I know I can relapse, but I try not to worry. The longer I go without psychotic symptoms, the more assured I get that it will stay this way. I get some minor dips. They don’t seem like they will end, but they do.
My major issue is anxiety. I have made great progress. At one point, I would just go to work and come home. I would shop at night and avoid people. Now, I work with people and even do some public speaking (I am not a good speaker, but I do it).
I think if you spend too much time focusing on possible symptoms you miss out on  what is around you.
Not long ago, I volunteered at a state conference for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. I was able to see a few speakers throughout the event.
One lecture I went to was on schizophrenia. I was very interested since I have a thought disorder (schizoaffective disorder). The psychiatrist speaking was a good speaker, intelligent and down to earth. He spoke about getting through the illness and to the person.
There was time for questions. Hands were raised and you could also fill out questions on paper. I filled out the paper and waited, but he never read mine. The audience was mostly clinicians and family but there were a few others with the diagnosis, like me.
Afterwards, there was time to talk with the speaker. i waited for my turn. Finally, I got to ask him my question. He said he had not read it because there really is no answer. I asked about remission. I have been stable for years. I have pretty much not had psychotic symptoms for 10 years (I am on medication). But, still I wait for the other shoe to drop. When is it going to happen again?
My question was âWhen can I take a breath and not worry about relapse?â His answer was simple. âBreathe Everydayâ. You arenât having symptoms now. Enjoy the moment.
Originally published in “Invisible Illness”
Stronger Than You Think 