Category Archives: life lessons

What Did I Get Myself Into?

anxiety, life lessons, mental illness, Uncategorized, writing, , , , ,

I am blogging for Psych Central. I have published 2 posts so far.

Shameless plug:

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/triple-winner/

 

It is about schizoaffective disorder and alcoholism.

I am supposed to write about 2 posts/week.

Did I mention I am really insecure and worry a lot and am a bundle of nerves????

I am so afraid I am going to run out of topics.

Or crash and burn in some humiliating fashion.

 

I already have 2 ideas for next week.

It is just the “what if?

I am going to try to stay in the present.

 

 

Perpetual Patients

bipolar, DBT, life lessons, mental illness, Rapid cycling, Uncategorized, , , ,

I  don’t know if I do this. It is easier to recognize in others. Every bad day is depression, any agitation is mania. They tell you every morning how many hours they slept the night before.

A friend was telling me much of what people think are mood swings have to do with distress tolerance and has more to do with therapy than medication. Specifically DIaletical Behavioral Therapy(DBT).

I don’t know if that is correct. I don’t think everyone that rapid cycles really has a personality disorder. That was what he seemed to be eluding to. But, if you can’t get mood swings under control and you can get into a DBT program that could be an option.

I want to be well and in recovery. I know I can relapse, but I try not to worry. The longer I go without psychotic symptoms, the more assured I get that it will stay this way. I get some minor dips. They don’t seem like they will end, but they do.

My major issue is anxiety. I have made great progress. At one point, I would just go to work and come home. I would shop at night and avoid people. Now, I work with people and even do some public speaking (I am not a good speaker, but I do it).

I think if you spend too much time focusing on possible symptoms you miss out on  what is around you.

image

Breathe

life lessons, mental illness, schizoaffective, schizophrenia, Uncategorized, , , ,

sunset2

Not long ago, I volunteered at a state conference for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness. I was able to see a few speakers throughout the event.

One lecture I went to was on schizophrenia. I was very interested since I have a thought disorder (schizoaffective disorder). The psychiatrist speaking was a good speaker, intelligent and down to earth. He spoke about getting through the illness and to the person.

There was time for questions. Hands were raised and you could also fill out questions on paper. I filled out the paper and waited, but he never read mine. The audience was mostly clinicians and family but there were a few others with the diagnosis, like me.

Afterwards, there was time to talk with the speaker. i waited for my turn. Finally, I got to ask him my question. He said he had not read it because there really is no answer. I asked about remission. I have been stable for years. I have pretty much not had psychotic symptoms for 10 years (I am on medication). But, still I wait for the other shoe to drop. When is it going to happen again?

My question was “When can I take a breath and not worry about relapse?” His answer was simple. “Breathe Everyday”. You aren’t having symptoms now. Enjoy the moment.

Originally published in “Invisible Illness”

View at Medium.com

I Found My Purple Crayon

life lessons, writing

Do you remember Harold and his purple crayon? A little boy who would open the world of his imagination, all with a purple crayon.

When I was young, I loved when we had creative writing assignments. Give me a blob and I could describe a character. Show me some words and I could tell a story.

Continue reading I Found My Purple Crayon →

Welcome

alcoholism, anxiety, bipolar, life lessons, schizoaffective, schizophrenia, writing, , , , , ,

I hope it is easy to find lorib.blog, or lorib434.wordpress.com

i have been blogging, more like journaling for years, but not for an audience. I have published on The Mighty, recently started posting on Medium and published on Psych Central. The title there is Triple Winner (archived)

I have a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder and social anxiety, along with overcoming an alcohol addiction. I plan to blog about those topics and other ramblings.

I will repost some but also have new posts here.

I will do my best to respond to comments.

where I can be found:

https://themighty.com/ (Lori Bernstein)

https://medium.com Lori Bernstein or @lorib641

TikTok Schizoaffective Dog Mom