Tag Archives: fatigue

What I have been up to   tw: sui

chronic illness, depression, suicide, TMS, Uncategorized, , , , ,
Warhol like image dog different colors

It has been a long time since I last wrote.  I got certified as a peer support specialist but full time work was too much for me.  I requested fewer hours and my psychiatrist wrote a note but my employer refused. I felt like I was either working or recovering and got very depressed.  I attempted sui but except for a trip to the er and a week long hospital stay, nothing happened.

I did 2 1/2 months of a PHP. It was okay. I did tms again and it helped but it seems to have worn off. I tried going back to work but nothing had changed and I got depressed again so I stopped working. I am applying for expedited reinstatement of SSDI but I don’t know if they are processing with shutdown.

I am looking into ketamine nasal spray treatment (spravato). My insurance approved it after months but I don’t have an appointment yet.  It is done in psychiatrist office and you can’t drive after.

I have not been doing much. My sleep is iffy and I am tired often.  I got akasithia from a medication and then had restless legs from another. I was really uncomfortable.

I have been playing with AI making pictures and memes.  I find it is a way to express myself, but I know there are downsides.

3 pics: dog with big eyes rainbow background (groovy), dog painting self portrait, me with my dog starry night background

Xanthines

alphabet game, Xanthine, , , , , , , ,

It was hard to come up with a word that starts with X. I like xylophones, I guess.

I decided to go with a chemical compound called a xanthine. Different products come from xanthines like: caffeine, theobromine (found in chocolate) and theophylline (a bronchodilator).

I have an issue with fatigue. I take some medications that are sedating, I have sleep apnea. I don’t know if there is more to it. I wear an appliance and sleep on my side and sleep better, but it is not enough.

I am dependent on caffeine. If I don’t drink coffee in the morning, I can barely leave my bed. So, I drink my coffee and also take a medication called modafinil (it is a mild stimulant used for narcolepsy, shift work, and sleep apnea), and, I can function.

I also like chocolate

I am grateful for Xanthines.

Energy

energy, , , , , ,

I wish I had more energy. I try to make the most of it when I do. Usually, I am fatigued. I have sleep apnea, which is helped by a dental appliance but I don’t feel rested in the morning. I also take a number of medications, including an antipsychotic. The ones I tried have all been sedating.

If I don’t drink coffee, I stay in bed all day. I take a medicine called provigil that is supposed to increase alertness. It helps, but not enough on its own.